Pause

The best part about the comma in any piece of wording is that it gives the reader some time to breathe before proceeding in any pace they choose; slowed or hurried. This reminds me of those Literature or fasihi classes back in high-school where the teacher would make each person in a row read loud a paragraph or two halafu someone reads a whole paragraph without considering the punctuation!! Frustrating, right?! I mean, the story goes on, but the flow gets flawed somewhere in the middle and you lose concentration altogether.

I’m that kinda girl who endeavors to learn from all experiences that I encounter in life. Bad and good, all are taken in very well, or not; pros & cons aligned side by side, lessons noted and tears probably shed too. Apart from work-outs and solo-walks in deserted areas, read quiet nature trails, among others, my other very top secret therapeutic stress-relieving method is just letting all that negative energy out through tears. Society regards crying as a ‘female thing’ and the sight of a man crying is considered a show of ‘weakness’, but for how long are you gonna conform to what society dictates though? Ok, I’m not saying you, a macho man, with huge muscles gained from weekly training in your local gym, being team beard-gang, go about crying every now and then when things don’t work out. That’s extremely weird. All I’m saying is that it is okay not to be okay, and whichever way you chose to release the toxic burden, crying included, is allowed. That does not make you less of a man. In fact, it makes you human – one that has emotions, and decides to express them in a way that most don’t see fit.

Commas. Life experiences. Relation? You ask.

There are times life rushes past you yaani! One time you’re a toddler being pampered with love and taught how to use a potty, a teen being shown how to go about stuff, the next you’re an adult revisiting Brighter Monday every once in a while, or approaching random clients, convince them that your quotation is more favorable just so you make a sale… and to top that up, you hustle your way up on your own – days of having your hand held through each phase of life are over!! What the hell is that?! Like, I still need the love… I still need to be pampered and have someone place a warm duvet over me at night and go worry about me! They leave me there just dreaming of the Ugali that will accompany my morning strong-tea...Why has time rushed by so quick?!!

Oh well, I’m here and ain’t nothing gon change the fact that now bills have to be paid, post-grad education still knocks at the door and the random encounter of “Gaii, haujaolewa bado?”, “Aki imagine by 24/25, a lady should have like a stable relationship leading to marriage, are you okay...should we be concerned?” still have to be thrown my way. Sigh!

There is nothing wrong with wanting space. Or time. Or isolation. I don’t say any of that like it’s okay to cut yourself out of the picture completely. At times this rush to achieve success gets you so occupied looking ahead (which is not a bad thing) that you only dwell on the end result and forget to celebrate simple achievements, be it at work, in you friendships, relationships, marriage, business etc. It’s like hopping onto a train heading North (kwa akina Jon Snow na Sansa…haha) and you don’t even look out the window to see the breathtaking scenery on your way there.

I once read a post by Artidote that you don’t always have to live in the moment. Choose a movie marathon over a party if that’s what you need. Throw your attention to the stars if it’s too distracted anywhere else. Sleep in on the weekends and let your responsibilities realize they take you for granted. Be honest enough to tell the people around you that life gets too heavy sometimes and you gotta check out!

If it’s a friendship you see not heading anywhere and continuously weigh you down, check-out. If it’s a relative that has always seen your bad side and refuses to acknowledge that you are worthy, check-out. If it’s that deal that has always bugged you from day one, pause, think it over and re-strategize. If it's a man - girl leave! On a light note I read somewhere that us queens don't owe anyone a flat stomach..haha...and well, them kings don't owe anyone a beard either...sooo....

Worry has never been man’s best friend – breathe, pause, relax, or better yet, get done with it – whatever it is!

There is nothing wrong with curving out a shelter for you and putting everything on pause for a while. It’s got nothing to do with anything else, it’s about you. Take care of yourself, even if it means having to put life on hold for a bit. Time goes on, but we can pretend it doesn’t. Because even though time is always ready to take us back again into the rush, you won’t always be ready to go. A pause is not only important but extremely necessary!

Take daily breathers, they don’t make you fragile, they keep you strong!