Sponsor alert!

I find shopping quite therapeutic! I'm quite sure even if it's with less intesity, most ladies find it quite stress-relieving too. It doesn't even have to be shopping at high-end shops like Woolworth or Mr. Price (who btw, I think overprice their stuff), just doing some thrift shopping along the streets of Nairobi is something I've embraced for as long as I can remember. Whoever came to a conclusion that ladies are impulse buyers really did do a good research, coz that's one hell of truth! The urge to buy things paraded along the streets, for me, is something I'm still battling to date. I even resorted to carrying with me exact cash (that being lunch money & fare) so as not to always fall into this whirlwind of confusion. But do I even maintain this, you ask? Hell to the no! I seldom do.

I know some 'focussed' individuals, with a straight face and that lemme-advise-you look, would be quick to say “You've just got to have priorities! It's all in your head girl! Just discipline yourself.” Okay, it's not that we don't prioritize stuff, it's not that we aren't disciplined – sometimes there's just this itch that overwhelms our bodies when payday approaches. Actually not even payday, just when we have some extra cash hanging loose somewhere. You don't even realize it when you alight at Adams heading straight to Toi market to look for dresses and tops sold at 70 bob each. You have 7 blazers but that one blue blazer in a different shade from the blue one you already have looks really really nice, so you go ahead and try it out as the vendor is restless outside Nakumatt Moi Avenue ready to take off at the sight of Kanjo. Ha! Reminds me how last week after work I was quite drained from the day's tasks so I decided to walk around tao heading to Railways to catch a mat. So as usual, macho hayana pazia, and being the self-proclaimed thrift shopper that I am, I decided to pitia those sides of Tuskys Beba Beba (closed down) and 'relieve' the day's stress. I stop at several vendors' shops...haha, how do you even call them? The clothes are always in a gunia and the masters are always ready to chomoka amidst a 'kanjo scare'. So I visit several of these 'shops' and try out stuff that I don't even buy. They call you names when you're leaving with nothing but I guess when you're in this biz as a customer you get accustomed to such name-calling, you're always like 'Yah, that won't get to me honey, I'm resistant to matusi, like – baba yo, nimezoea!' This, for obvious reasons, you cannot and can never say loud!! I remember being told - “Madam, kwani unadhani hio pesa yako napelekea nani, umewai ona Leather Jacket ya mia mbili?? Hio enda ununue mtura ukule sapa.” I just took it with me and saved it on my container full of 'hawker comebacks'.

So I finally got to this mama who was selling dresses at KES. 350 and get down to sorting through the bunch of dresses hapo chini. I had a wedding coming up the weekend that followed so at least that was good reason to stop at her 'shop' – haha, Mtukufu Rais, Anayeongea sasa, akijitetea ni Impulse Buyer wa kisasa, haha! I find this long blue dress with a lacey finish and I was smitten bin smitten! I try it on – I was wearing an official trouser and a top so I had to force the dress over all that mess. As I was still pimaring the kidress, kajo makakuja makaanza kukimbisa watu..wueeh!! Mimi nani, Kipchoge Keino mara dhat dhat...saizo huyo mama ako like “ Madam, usitoroke na hio dress, nifuate!” Tulikimbia tukaingia duka flani ya simu tukiwa wengi alafu dress najaribu kutoa haitoki. Haha...The owner of the shop alikuwa mtiaji sana...he's like...'Ebu mtoke hapa muende na huko nje....hapa staki shida”...NKT, sisi wakimbizi we rolled our eyes from here to Lokichogio when we heard him say that.  In our minds we're like....“What nonsense!!!!!”. Anywayz, nikatoa dress nikarudishia madhe...I did't like it – and this, my friends, as expected got her mad. “Yaani madam after kupima hifyo fyooote huitaki?..nkt..mnakuanga na mbayambaya.” and then she left! She left the WhatsApp Group..haha (btw, there should be a way one can leave a WhatsApp group discretely and no one notices...esp za church)...you always have Brother Johakim on you DM in the morning like “Praise God my daughter, is it a good time to call you so that we discuss Matthew 7:7?”

Some research done and reported by The Daily Mail UK reported/claimed that women speak about 20,000 words a day, 13,000 more than the average man does! WOW, we're that extra??!! I also think we really are. Why? Coz this post ain't even about the thrift shopping that I've been bubbling about on here, issa different thing but who cares? It's made the introduction captivating I guess. You agree? No? Sawa tu!

Somewhere within the last two weeks hapo katikati, siko sure ni when exactly...my colleague and I passed by The Green House Mall, along Ngong Road on our way home to buy some fresh groceries from Naivas. I ended up buying stuff worth KES. 1,335 - just some packets of edible nonsense & useless wrapped up together disguised as groceries! So we've both collected our mathogothanio  and are queuing up to give Ceasar his due, my colleague goes back to get some stuff she's forgotten and leaves me to 'chunga' her stuff and of course ndio mse asituruke. The queue is quite crowded by now and it's that kind of Naivas that has limited 'queuing space' having queues extending to the shop isle so kuna venye tu kuna commotion hapa kule. Ni kama uko ndani ya EastMatt – always poorly ventilated, zote zenye nmeenda! I've not seen an evenly-spaced, well-organised and sparkling clean Eastmatt in my 24 years of existence, I'm still exploring.

Colleague comes back and this elderly guy just after us on the queue goes like “Are you sisters?” This is after his 'unspoken gestures of courtesy' like...pushing our shopping carts to let others pass, the 'It’s no big deal' nod when we tell him 'Thank you!' et cetera, et cetera. So with this question we're all smiles and go like.. “Do we look alike?”...

“For a moment, I thought you did but now looking closer I'm doubting my thoughts.” When I say that this guy was elderly, I mean the late Mzee Ojwang, Uncle Fred Obachi Machoka elderly – bald head with receding hairline and he had glasses on. I tend to think that my mama raised me right and so whenever I come across the elderly, respect is key. With a respectful controlled chuckle, I tell him we're not sisters but work together. What followed was a series of questions and small talk on where we work, what we do, why we're shopping for groceries that late and why beautiful ladies like us aren't out there having fun...then he adds “Or the night is still young??” (I really found this extremely odd coming from him but I din't really pay much attention to it, neither did my colleague though we gave each other that astonishment look). Being one to take a bull by its horns, I saw this as a good opportunity to do a little bit of marketing, the area I know I'm pretty good at. There's no harm in extending my work hour, right? I thought.

I immediately dish out my business card followed by a very simple and well articulated sales pitch. I talk about our products, but especially dwell on the Sale that's currently running with most items being 50% off. He's impressed but of course to challenge me into expressing more of those marketing skills I 've learnt in the field and at Strathmore, he says that he's already come across more offers recently and I needed to be more convincing. We get to the till, pay for our stuff but when about to leave he request us to wait for him outside for few minutes amalize kilipa.

Okay, so here's the thing. As a sales & marketing exec., any human being walking around is an entity that has needs and these needs need to consistently be met since they are insatiable. The pep talk we're always given every morning by the bosses is that 'Walk out there with a mentality that everybody needs something. It's up to you to dig deeper and tap that need. Be a solution, always! - if not, provide an alternative!' Having this engrained on my mind, the moment this guy started asking about my work, I saw an opportunity and quickly dived in.

Guy clears his bill and comes outside. We walk to the car as he tells us he lives around Adams Arcade and was out for an evening stroll but just as he was passing by the Greenhouse, he realized that he needed some stuff. Ok, so is this impulse buying wave unisex too?!? In his bag there's a very huge cabbage, some potatoes and spinach, which he talks on and on about. My colleague asks him who's gonna help him do all that preparation and he mumbles some response that I didn't quite catch. But note: He didn't mention any wife/partner. We says our goodbyes and leave with him promising to come to our office to cheque out the items on sale.

“I'll give you a call.” He said.

This happened on a Friday evening, around 7.30pm.

Saturday morning, at around 9.30, while at work preparing for a site visit, I see my phone buzz. Unknown number calling. “Heeeeey Mercy, hows your morning?.....Tom here....Tom from yesterday evening?...” First of all, I found it so weird that this old man was “Heeeey-ing” me. There are people who 'heeeey' me and then there are clients! Those we stick to just 'Hi, Hello, Good morning or in extreme cases .. Hey.' Also, did he just refer to himself as Tom? Like should I also call him Tom? No, my mama didn't teach me to address their elderly on first name basis so I go like... “Good morning Mr. Tom (I didn't know his 2nd name), I am well, thank you...Ooh, yes I remember you. How can I be of help?”

“Well, I just woke up this morning and you popped up on my mind so I thought I would check up on you.” - (my head) = OKAY Tom, this is getting a little bit past the weird side but lemme just play it cool and see where you're heading with this......“Oh, thank you Sir. That's really nice of you. You've made up your mind about coming for the items that are up for sale while at it?”

“Actually not yet, but I was thinking we meet today over coffee here at Java Adams so that you tell me more about this. Are you free this afternoon? Around 3pm-ish?” …(my head-again)....BUT I told you almost EVERYthing ThaT THEre Is To teLL abOUT thIS saLE??? What more do I say? … “I'm rushing for a meeting this morning and I'm not certain what time I'll be done with business over there at South C. Later on I'm having a social meeting with a few friends (social meeting..LOL), please allow me to call you back later on and confirm whether I'll be able to set aside time.” “Okay Mercy, I will be waiting for your call, enjoy your meeting and I'm hoping to see you today.”

When you haven't gone through something in your life It's quite hard to relate to it unless this thing hits close to home, or hits home. All through this conversation, there are some stuff this guy said that I just brushed off as him being nice. I didn't read through his 'nice' words because of course the commission that would come from a sale I would make to this prospect client clouded everything.

I go about my day and amidst being busy, my phone runs out of power. I finish my day's work and head home. It's now 1745hours. I start charging my phone. I see few people had tried calling me but I had to call Mr. Tom first because I wouldn't want this probable sale to just vanish. “I'm really sorry I didn't call you back any sooner. My phone had run out of power and my meetings took so much of my time. You're actually the first person I've called back once my phone was on. Could we please reschedule our meeting to another day Sir?”

“Well, I'm flattered that I'm the first person that you've called Mercy.”

My head – Nigga! Ain't nothing special about this call. I'm just trying to be one of those people who stick to their word.

“Where are you now? You said you live along Ngong road? Why not just come over here at Java Adams right now? It's barely 7pm.” At this point it's already started dawning on me that this your old man isn't all about the sale and I'm dead disappointed!  I tell him I have stuff I'm doing and if there's more he needs to know about our sale he should come to our showroom the following week.

“It would've been great if I saw you again before then though, what about tomorrow, Sunday?” .. “Sundays are quite tight for me Sir, but I will let you know.” The conversation ends but still I'm not deep in thought yet about what this old man is doing until what he did next confirmed my fears!

At around 6.50pm, he calls me back!!! Jesus!!! What does Morgan Freeman want again?!? “Heeeeey, I've just seen your WhatsApp picture. I see you like outdoor activities. I do too...Would you mind us going for outdoor events when you're free sometime? Also, I hang out a lot. We could go out together” I rememeber still being nice through his questions and mentioning that in case this would happen I will bring my colleague with me. He says its okay to bring my friend but she can join us after we've had several outings together!!!! WTF?!! He adds, “Do you have some pictures of you in your phone? Please send me a few!”... “You're home alone I suppose, you could take some and send to me, if you don't mind”.

Process that nonesense for minute before you continue reading.

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This is a grown ass man, old enough to be my dad, uncle or hell, my grandpa asking me to send him 'photos of myself'. For what?! I blocked the nigga right away after telling him I don't send pictures of myself to strangers and that he was extremely out of line to ask that from me. I don't even send pics to people I know!!!..... I had so much bile to spit out but then again, he's elderly so I just tamed my mouth. What fuckery was that? My patience level could not keep me on the phone any longer, I hanged up. I do no tolerate such BS and neither should any lady out there. Perverts disguised in all forms are roaming these streets preying on young women who if not careful enough, fall into there traps. Tolerating this crap is how you end up in a sponsor-sponsee relation, hoping that this old man will leave his wife and live happily ever after with you because – you have a better looking ass? Because you are young and active? Coz you help kill the stress he gets at home? Naah, girl – stop lying to yourself.

These type of men who portray such behaviours are all over and I'm certain even if they're not approaching girls above 20 years, they still do this to teenagers and it's so sad that they are sometimes people closest to us, or people we look up to in the society. The #MeToo and #ChurchToo campaigns that have been trending of late are a clear indication that these things do happen and when they happen; when a man goes as far sexually harassing you, and threatens to ruin your life if you speak up, prevents so many people from speaking up. I know so little about these campaigns but I know that my body is so precious, I wouldn't let any human being misuse me or force me to do something that I do not agree with. That's why I'm open to learning more about this to help save myself or any other young woman who is out there clueless on how to speak out!

When you speak out, you save others from going through the same experience. Let your voice be heard. Call them weirdos out!

For the Sponsor wave, now THAT - that is for you not to allow. That is not forced on you honey – you've got a say in it. You know what's good for you and what's not!

End of rant!