Issa journey Babe, brace yourself!

Wallapangaz Mercilicious Babe, 

First and foremost, let me congratulate you for clearing high school and for getting that good grade. The excitement is written all over your face baby girl and you know what, I'm damn proud of you! You've made it past the first 4 in 8-4-4 and that, my girl is an achievement you ought to toast to! Who'd have thought that with your 312 Marks from Riruta Satellite Primary School you'd get a placement in Nembu Girl's High?? Manze there have been challenges but si you're here now? Okay, so I thought I'd just halla at you and have a little chat. You're 18 now, right? Yes. I know this coz I'm you; the 7+ years older you. I want to tell you some things I'll need you to expect in some few year to go. So here we go.

Maintain that small diary you have. I like that you write your experiences, both good and bad in there. You will look at it today and marvel at the far you've come. That section where you've written a series of romantic messages and quotes meant for that one boy you like – that will be more hilarious now! Keep it! Spoiler: Imagine you'll realize that you didn't even like that boy after all...but, enjoy the feeling while it lasts.

You only have that one pair of jeans you wear every Sunday to church. Sometimes embarrassment overwhelms you so you decide you'll just read the Bible from home. Everybody else has very many beautiful clothes and you wallow in you sorrow and blame God for being poor. My love, please...these will not matter 7 year from now! Your revamped life will have more than you will need. Just focus on what matters now – your education!

Every time they see you waking up early morning to go study in that mabati Art class, they say you're too serious. I see you reading novels every now and then, while in school you were an early bird. Now that you've cleared school, that hasn't changed. You struggle to speak proper English among everyone else and they say 'ukona maringo sana' but you keep at it regardless. Don't listen to them one bit! Don't put down that book, that article, that novel, that journal. Read, read, read. Cultivate the plants up in your brain and don't let unnecessary chatter stop you for being the best version of yourself!

You will eventually forgive them. Your heart is heavy right now. I know that you hate them for forgetting you. They are not around when you need them the most! It's uncertain whether you'll ever talk to them but baby girl, one day you will. Once you forgive them, you will be free! Free of hurt, free of anger, free of confusion. You'll learn that one of the most therapeutic aspect of life is forgiveness.

Do you know that you'll go to University???? I know that's feels like a long shot right now but you will. The feeling will be surreal, you won't believe it when you get your admission letter! Since there's currently no money for uni, you're only looking into either doing a technical course or doing a Diploma. Guess what? You'll be accepted to do a degree course in one of the best Private Universities in the Country!! When you receive the letter, you'll literally walk home, your mind will be full of thoughts and you'd need more time to digest the news. You'll walk from Madaraka to Lenana, through Mbagathi Way, then Mimosa, Ngong Road, Pathway... all teary, happy, confused but most of all grateful for the one chance at life you never dreamt of.

Once enrolled into the uni, you'll get into a mini-depression, no...it'll actually be a massive depression but you'll get over it! Yeah, yeah...you're a positive girl and you pray every day but this you won't pray or talk yourself out of. For the first few weeks you'll be over the moon!Weeks that follow especially after classes start you'll see the difference between you and other students. You are a ghetto girl, you are from a school people haven't heard of and every time they ask you about it you have to explain that it's not from Embu (read, Nembu Girls) and “unajua sisi ndio tulikuwa Sister School ya Dagoretti Boys” would at least save the situation as that one was well known. You come from a slum and live in a mabati house, so every morning you get to the gate kwenu kumenyesha lazima upanguze viatu before you join those who got to school using their own cars, that one green bag ..with your books covered the 'high school' style just looks off, everybody in class has a laptop...you do not have any! In the first Communication Skills Class, Mrs. Ngala will ask everyone to introduce themselves and tell the class what it is that they do since it will be an evening class...and this will be your reaction:

Sitting on the 4th seat at the middle column, 3rd row of those massive LT4 benches, you will start sweating profusely. The process will start and you'll dread the day you stepped into that institution. There'll be only 5 people left for it to be your turn. My sister you will sweat blood. Young girl, you will shake like a leaf especially when you remember that the only thing you do during the day is rush for Marto's Masala and Spiced Chipo and eat them while lying on top of the bed in Hacinom's Hostel, Siwaka Plaza. Now, excellent stories will be shared, among them being a guy who runs his dad's 3-star restaurant and would want to only know how to solve customer-client disputes, one lady will share her experience as an Executive Administrator at NHIF and many more. One young rugged boy, however, will make you appreciate yourself a little bit because he will bounce to the front and say “Hi guyzz...Wassup y'all...So uuumm..my pops kinda just wanted me to do this course but I don't think I like it but imma just do it either way. During the day I just play video games and listen to music! I hope I'll make friends with you ol' guyzzzzzz.” Everyone will laugh at that and my dear, you will also join in the laughter until its your turn to speak out.

With no swag and self confidence at ground-level 0.0001, you will walk to the front of the class and say:

“Good afternoon. Good afternoon again. (WTH??? What the actual hell??? Who does that??....It's at this point that you will realize that being a Praise & Worship leader in Nembu Girls CU had an effect on you.) My name is Mercy Kangwato and I am 19 years old. By the end of this class I would like to nini...eehhm nini...I would just like to learn and pass the exam.” That term 'nini' will be common to your phrases but you'll outgrow it eventually. “During the day I read books at the Library.” You will lie to look focussed but life will go on, it always does.

Two months into uni, you'll get a job! At freaking 19! This will boost your self esteem in a massive way and now you'll start adjusting. You will make friends in that class; mature friends who'll hold your hand through life, mentor you into adulthood. They will also 'use' you. Being the youngest in the class, you'll be the Module Leader/Class Rep for most classes in your 4 years. “You're young and energetic” would be their song every time there would be no chalk in class so you'll do all the errands to the Help-Desks and back. The job you get, you'll do for all your uni life and that will change everything for you! With this job, you will eventually feel like the society now embraces you.

You'll drop that name 'Mercilicious Babe'. Exposure to this other life will make you a different person. You'll embrace the change and live life to the fullest (haha...you'll eventually stop saying this btw! - fullest! Baddest!) Your other nickname 'Kangsy' will however stick and most people will not know that you go by the name Achieng or Kangwato, which are your official names.

You'll join COP and your life will literally change! Here you'll meet friends your age and be happy that you finally can use words like 'kinda' and 'I know, right??!!', among others and not get judged for such millennial mannerisms. This movement will teach you to appreciate the little that you have. It will transform you into a wholesome individual who'll appreciate to give more than to always take. Your approach to life will change and you'll wonder what that depression in 1st year was all about. 

You will realize that you are the most loved, most favored and most blessed individual on this earth. Community Outreach will be part and parcel of you. It's in that world that you will realize that life's best when you appreciate all you've got.

While in 2nd year, two other girls and yourself will decide to 'live as independent ladies'. You'll rent a 1-BR house at Siwaka Plaza and plan to live the best 'free' life. You'll consider yourselves old enough to not stay limited by the curfew rules the hostel put up. Y'all will get tired of each other within 6 months and go back to hostel life though. The day you'll decide that enough is enough is this particular week when you'll come from class, tired from the days work and also straight from coping with Mr. Amulega's Philosophy class and find cold ugali and cabbage hapo kwa counter. On Monday, that week, you'll have prepared a very nice meal for the ladies and went an extra mile to warm it for them when they got home. Hio cabbage na ugali was the wake up call. Among other nitty gritties, you decided to all part ways- that way, you'll probably still be friends. The friendships you will maintain for a short while until they eventually will fade.

In campus, you'll realize your passion for art and this will lead you to start a side hustle. Among other things, this will be another of your greatest achievements yet! Even with all the marketing knowledge acquired from school, getting a unique name for this hustle will be a challenge. You'll eventually just opt for 'Kitenge Bracelets by Kangsy'. As I'm writing this to you, you're still on a journey to find the most catchy names for it.

You will discover blogging and appreciate the fact that all the thoughts you've had in your mind you can put down and look back at many years later.

You will meet me. The older version of you. You won't like me, you will love me.Why? Because I will be a better version of you. Life experieces will tranform you into a lady with big dreams. These dreams will scare you but you will steer ahead and go for them regardless! (Yes, you will find yourself using regardless in your conversations....)

Well, that ain't all but I want you to go live this life. See you when you get here!

Xoxo,

Dedix: Hall of Fame ~ The Script. 

Pretty Hurts ~ Beyonce

Lifetime ~ Emeli Sande

Lego House ~ Ed Sheeran