I am a happy girl today - I have been for a while now! Here's why: 💪
You see how people say "From my mouth to God's ears", that could never have been me for sometime! I felt for a long time that things I said, prayers I directed to Him, all just went unanswered. I felt like he didn't care at all, plus also the famous phrase, 'He has three answers - Yes, No, Wait.' weren't doing anything for me. I was just always getting a resounding No. Every time I tried talking to Him, I'd picture that this was how our conversation went:
Me: Dear God, I'm just so tired of putting in work where I'm not appreciated for my input. Please open a door for me?!ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
God: Nah, not you 🚫. What else you gat?🤔🤔
Me: But I called you DEAR!!! I don't call people that! 😞😲...Okay, Please go ahead of me and especially send favor my way in that appraisal meeting kesho
God: Ooooooh wait, didn't I tell you that the company is probably downsizing? Sorry, my bad.🤓
Me: Really?! This prayer thing isn't helping. Talk later then - in like two months... or something
You see how people say "From my mouth to God's ears", that could never have been me for sometime! I felt for a long time that things I said, prayers I directed to Him, all just went unanswered. I felt like he didn't care at all, plus also the famous phrase, 'He has three answers - Yes, No, Wait.' weren't doing anything for me. I was just always getting a resounding No. Every time I tried talking to Him, I'd picture that this was how our conversation went:
Me: Dear God, I'm just so tired of putting in work where I'm not appreciated for my input. Please open a door for me?!ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
God: Nah, not you 🚫. What else you gat?🤔🤔
Me: But I called you DEAR!!! I don't call people that! 😞😲...Okay, Please go ahead of me and especially send favor my way in that appraisal meeting kesho
God: Ooooooh wait, didn't I tell you that the company is probably downsizing? Sorry, my bad.🤓
Me: Really?! This prayer thing isn't helping. Talk later then - in like two months... or something
*
Hustling out here is so hard manze!!! It's so freaking hard to maintain a decent life and be happy while at it. It's especially harder when you are working in an organization that still practises modern slavery! Ever been in a place where you feel unappreciated and despised by someone you want to please on a daily? You do so much but get so little, and I don't only mean money. You have supervisors who always see your shortcomings and don't even acknowledge a win that you bring to the company. Your sales/ performance graph is going up and you're generally closing massive deals but the moment the weekly target isn't met by let's say a margin of just 100k, that's when a meeting is called. "Why are you not dwelling on the corporates? Why are you slacking on this end?" become the key discussion points.
*
How about you let me know that you SEE my efforts? How about you tell me that you understand the dynamics of our market and one bad week doesn't erase the fact that I've indeed been working hard? How about you stop using this one week to decide whether you'll give me a raise or not? How about a "Thank you for your e-mail". Thank you for sending your report on time? Do you know how sometimes when I send a well thought out email to you and you don't respond makes me feel like I ain't doing it right? Like I'm not good enough? Do you know that you talking down on me actually makes me feel like I'm not capable of anything? Like I just went to school for nothing? It's this toxic environment that's killing my mood but you mistake it for laziness and 'Not having the company's best interest at heart.'
God took a look at the constant
prayers I'd been sending his way (finally) and after reviewing the
contents of the X-files dubbed "Mercy' s Woes", he answered! I'd been
telling him that I needed to feel appreciated. I needed to not wake up
and feel like I was heading into a penal institution. I needed him to
know that I was not happy. I was doing something I love but they just
didn't want to show me that my input mattered. I needed him to know
that I would like to be asked what I think in a meeting...Like "What do
you think we should do?", "What's your idea? Do you think this is
okay?"...other than just being forced to do stuff and sit in meetings
without being given an opportunity to voice my thoughts/opinions. I
needed Him to know that I felt underutilized - I needed him to know that
I felt pathetic and outright stupid most times because I was only
acting as directed. I wasn't fully myself - free, lively, creative!
*
Out of the blues, he gave me what I'd been deeply seeking - Peace of mind in the workplace!!! I cannot explain how IMPORTANT this thing is to me. This is where I spend 80% of my time at the moment and what's its use if its not mentally and emotionally nourishing me? He gave me something new. He brought my way a boss that actually asks me what I think of a decision he's made? "Mercy, do you think it's good to do this? What would do if it were you?"
*
I got a call from this boss one day and he asks "How are you?" ...and this being something I was not used to being asked by a boss, I quickly rushed to say I was fine and ask how i could be of help to him. He then said, "No, how can i be of help to you today?" I found myself talking about all the things that I thought could be improved in the department and he finished off the conversation by saying "Looks like you were not fine after all. I'll create time this week and takk about these things in detail."
*
When all you know is bad, even when good comes your way, you'll mistake it for bad coz that's what you're used to having. I am happy. I am free. I am ME in that workplace. I don't have to wake up each morning dreading the activities of the day. I feel appreciated. I feel valued. It might be temporary (change is inevitable),but I'm Happy NOW, and the power of NOW is all that matters to me.
God, I doubted you - but you showed up for me. Thank you!
Hustling out here is so hard manze!!! It's so freaking hard to maintain a decent life and be happy while at it. It's especially harder when you are working in an organization that still practises modern slavery! Ever been in a place where you feel unappreciated and despised by someone you want to please on a daily? You do so much but get so little, and I don't only mean money. You have supervisors who always see your shortcomings and don't even acknowledge a win that you bring to the company. Your sales/ performance graph is going up and you're generally closing massive deals but the moment the weekly target isn't met by let's say a margin of just 100k, that's when a meeting is called. "Why are you not dwelling on the corporates? Why are you slacking on this end?" become the key discussion points.
*
How about you let me know that you SEE my efforts? How about you tell me that you understand the dynamics of our market and one bad week doesn't erase the fact that I've indeed been working hard? How about you stop using this one week to decide whether you'll give me a raise or not? How about a "Thank you for your e-mail". Thank you for sending your report on time? Do you know how sometimes when I send a well thought out email to you and you don't respond makes me feel like I ain't doing it right? Like I'm not good enough? Do you know that you talking down on me actually makes me feel like I'm not capable of anything? Like I just went to school for nothing? It's this toxic environment that's killing my mood but you mistake it for laziness and 'Not having the company's best interest at heart.'
*
Out of the blues, he gave me what I'd been deeply seeking - Peace of mind in the workplace!!! I cannot explain how IMPORTANT this thing is to me. This is where I spend 80% of my time at the moment and what's its use if its not mentally and emotionally nourishing me? He gave me something new. He brought my way a boss that actually asks me what I think of a decision he's made? "Mercy, do you think it's good to do this? What would do if it were you?"
*
I got a call from this boss one day and he asks "How are you?" ...and this being something I was not used to being asked by a boss, I quickly rushed to say I was fine and ask how i could be of help to him. He then said, "No, how can i be of help to you today?" I found myself talking about all the things that I thought could be improved in the department and he finished off the conversation by saying "Looks like you were not fine after all. I'll create time this week and takk about these things in detail."
*
When all you know is bad, even when good comes your way, you'll mistake it for bad coz that's what you're used to having. I am happy. I am free. I am ME in that workplace. I don't have to wake up each morning dreading the activities of the day. I feel appreciated. I feel valued. It might be temporary (change is inevitable),but I'm Happy NOW, and the power of NOW is all that matters to me.
God, I doubted you - but you showed up for me. Thank you!
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