Nyayo House - Day 1

So nlisema na du better hii mwaka. Sa ju ya hio story I woke up one morning in January and decided, out of the blues, that I was gonna apply for a passport. Not that I had travel plans or anything, this was me deciding to put my faith into action, that something aligned to going abroad - or just within Africa - will one day come up. A girl can dream, yeah? Other than that, there's a friend who'd consistently been on my neck about this thing and even offered to pay. When that money ingiad my Mpesa, it mysteriously disappeared. Niliikula. I kulad it good , you guy! So yeah, the guilt worked me up, I decided it was time I took my greetings & needy self to the main house- the dreaded house - Nyayo House. 

Here's how things went.

Before planning the trip, lazima ufill the necessary application form on e-citizen at the immigration section from your account, a process which I find extremely convenient. I wonder what used to happen before ecitizen was a thing. You're guided on what to fill and how to fill the application form. The most important documents needed are your national ID card, birth certificate, parent's birth certificate/ID, recommenders certified ID copy, the invoice they give you, passport photos, etc. All these, you provide original copies. So I took my time, filled the form - keenly, paid Kes. 4,550 via mpesa and downloaded the form. Once you submit the form and pay for the process, you cannot rectify what you've submitted so that's why you gotta be keen. Good thing though is that before you submit the form, they show you a summary of the information you've fed the system so that you can correct it before you proceed to payment. I did all that. Now, onto the fun stuff.

DAY 1:

Mi hukuwa tao daily, like if I were to pick a place I frequent, it's got to be GPO stage, lol.  Nikona shares hapo hata kanjo wanajua. Kila jioni mi hushinda hapo na company yangu (pun intended). When I'm at the stage I see queue upon queue at Nyayo Hse.  Watu wengi, khai! maraini mandefu, khai! For that reason too, I'd always said that mimi na huko ni kama maji na mafuta, kama Arap Mashamba na integrity, hatutawai patana. Also, nlikuwa nishaskia venye wasee hutreatiwa uko so nikasema ayam not boarding! Sa ju nlikuwa nishaamua hii experience lazma ikam through, nikaamka ngware sana by kedo 4am. Kuna venye shower yangu haishikangi moto siku hizi lakini napanga kuijenga afresh so nikajipiga tu syk nikaoga na maji baridi. After kashower nikadunga official ju after hio process nilikuwa niende offe. Nakumbuka previous day nilikuwa nishatext bossman bazenga story ya kuchelewa - akasema haina ngori, permission granted.

So mimi huyo ngware teketeke hadi stage. Venye tu nlijiseti kwa kiti nikakumbuka ni Weno na hio ndio siku si hutoa takataka nje ndio ipelekwe sijui wapi na nlikuwa nmesahau kutoa. Nikasema tu yaliyondwele sipite, hio yake imepita nitapostpone hio task hadi coming Friday. Uzuri ya kuenda stage mapema badala mse alipe soo unalipa finje na gari inakimbia kukimbia ngong road ju saizo hakuna jam, labda blueband. Katrip kalikuwa kafupi, kwa handbag nlikuwa na ka bahasha kanakaa kale ka wasee wa gava wenye hupeana tender ya kusupply air. Ghafla bin vuu, Osama bin laden, nikafika GPO nikabuy zile bika za tangawizi ka mbili ndio at least zinikeep busy nikiwa kwa line. Kufika nadhani mimi niko top 50 kumbe nikama nakuja concert ya Beyonce. Nikapewa receipt no. 268 surely na ni 5.55am. Nikasema haidhuru, animal kama tortoise iliingia kwa Ark ya Noah hata kama hainanga haraka. So mimi nani? Mimi bado ni totois...(get it?)

Nikiwa kwa line kanjeve kalinipiga kama venye Man-U huchapa Arsenali, from head to toe lakini saizo nasema tu it's gonna be worth it - winter hasn't come yet, inakam April 14th. Kaqueue kakaanza kusonga polepole tu, tukafika hapo kwa dirisha. Kuangalia ndani, alas! Bench tatu ziko full wasee wamekaa bado hata hawajaitwa. So ndio nisifeel ni kama my heart in sinking nikaamua sitaangalia ndani, I just focus on my life kwa sababu I entered that gate alone and I will leave alone kama venye Headmaster alikuwa anatusho tukiwa shule. Kufika kwa mlango Mr. Officer akauliza form ziko wapi.

"Kila mtu atoe form zote! Kama hauna birth certificate toka enda nyumbani...wewe nafanya nini hapa?" "Msijana wapi form yako?"  "Ingia haraka..." "Nimesema watu wapendane kwa hio bench..."
Venye alisema hio story ya bench manze nliskia kucheka ju mimi interpretation yangu ilikuwa ya shetani, like..tupendane kwa bench wote afande? Ajeeeee? Lakini nilikumbuka mimi I was raised in a Christian home na hizo vitu sijui sa sikucheka nikaenda kupendana na wasee because who I'm I to question the Kenyan government? Nakuambia tulikaa kwa hio bench hadi nlijua nkitoka hapo haga zangu zitakuwa zimedissolve, na hio ingebaki story! Kenye ilinipea motisha ni kwamba Rayvanny alisema 'hata kama nyuma umepigwa pasi, sura mbaya dawa yake make-up' so nikasema this will not be the day I die.

While sitted, there's this lady mwenye alikuwa amekaa mbele yetu and for some reason alikuwa amemisplace receipt yake so it happened that wasee tulikuwa tumekaa line moja nao wakaiokota. Ju hawakuwa wanajua ni ya nani wakaipitisha kwangu niangalie kama ni yangu. While I was briefly holding it on my hand and checking where I had placed mine and realised I had mine nikawasho si yangu, the lady turned back ju aliskia nikisema ... and she goes like:

"Ghaii...hio ni number gani?....(I read out the no.)...Ni yangu!!!!" "Mbona unaiweka kwa bag..why are you doing that? Haujaskia nikiitisha?" Ladies and gentle people mimi ata nilishindwa niambie huyu msista aje. Nikajaribu kumsho venye hio receipt ime end up kwa mkono yangu lakini hakuwa anataka kuskia. Wacha nipate support from the masses! Sema ndrama! Sema findeo! This guy who'd become my stranger friend ndio alitake the lead. "Wewe madam tumepata receipt huko chini tunajaribu kukusaidia na huna ata asante? Si ungenyamaza uulize iko wapi. Ama ungefurahi kama tungeipata tuitupe huko nje?"

"You don't know me. I don't know you. Wacha kuniongelesha!!!" Madam akaclap back. Zero to 100 in nanoseconds you guy! Hahahahha....wuueh, kalianza kutamba saizo mimi nashangaa niseme nini. Madam akasema "I'm talking to the girl, not you. Ndio nimeemelewa kenye amesema. So niwache!"

Yeah, the exchange lasted some minutes and finally came to an end when queue ilisonga mbele. Kidogo kidogo kastaff kakakuom kakatuchukua wasee kama 30 hivi kuenda huko ndani. Nakuambia this was the best feeling. Kuingia huko ndani?! Hii feeling ni kama ile ya kupewa cake kwa harusi after imezungushwa kwa kila mtu...ama finally saa ya lunch imefika after mumengoja newly weds watoke photoshoot Ngong Hills na mko Reception Lunar Park, tao. Like finally this is happening, or so I thought!

Woi, don't count your eggs before you cook them ...ama ni aje wanaisemanga?

Ukifika ndani hakuna kupanga line. System ishawapanga so mnaitwa tu na ile machine huita wasee kwa bank. "Ticket number A00276, go to counter number 10". Nlikaa hapo naomba tu Sir God things ziende tu poa. Ukiangalia counter moja unaona venye documents za msee zinastampiwa anasmile chini ya maji. Kidogo kidogo unaona mwingine amerushiwa mkono arudi Eldoret alete mzazi, mwingine ameambiwa awache kusumbua kazi ya civil servant. Wengine washapita hio phase ya Trials and Tribulations wamekaa wanangoja kupigwa picha. Then guess what?

"Ticket number A000268, go to counter number 9!" Ushai ona venye financial stability hutembea? Huyo alikuwa mimi. Nilienda hapo nikijua leo ni leo, asemaye kesho hayuko, na kama ako hapa achapwe mangoto, alaaaar!!!

Wadau salamu sikupewa and I'm all smiley there like "Hello, good morning sir?" I think he mumbled something real quick before asking me to produce my documents. I was so happy to provide them, I almost gave him my whole handbag to obtain everything in it but the Holy Spirit of Jehovah held me back like "God's child, today ain't it!!" - that's how honest I was willing to be for this process to flow smoothly. All was going on well, I look at the other counter and I see my stranger friends prosper. Mmoja alikuwa ashamaliziwa akanismilia hapo akipita. Najua kwa roho alikuwa anaomba nimaliziwe haraka tujue kutaenda aje after hii siku - kama itakuwa ama haikui. Ghafla bin Iddi Amin, my guy akaniuliza "Hii ni ya nini na ni ya nani?"

Among the documents I had given him, there was an original copy of my mum's burial permit which I provided as extra evidence that nilikuwa na mzazi. The conversation that followed broke my heart!! Like, he wasn't rude or anything - aliniambia tu nitoke hapo niende Upper Hill kwa sijui registrar of births and deaths nichukue death certificate nirudi nayo na kama ni Migori nipande gari jioni niendee hio certificate huko. hahahahaha.....woi, it's funny now but when I was talking to him, tears had already welled up in my eyes. Now, my way of processing anger or disappointment is something I really hate. When I'm angry or sad or highly frustrated, my tears just don't want to stick where they belong, my voice starts shaking, i start feeling hot na sio hot ka kuiva....sijui btw huwa nini. Sa nikaanza hapo kuhold tear nikimshow venye ID ya madhe ndio niko nayo na mimi hata sina familia nilijipatanga tu kwa barabara nikaokotwa...hahahaha you've gotta say anything to these people yo! This didn't work out.

Day 1 was a mess, ruined my entire day. Lakini kama Nyashinski alienda na akarudi? Who I'm i in the animal kingdom to throw in the towel?????? I went back for Day 2!

...to be continued.

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