Nairobbery 101

Hio roho yako ya utu hapa streets za Nairobbery ati unataka kusaidia kila mtu kaa tu nayo. These 'homeless' women with kids walking around tao wamejanjaruka kuruka...they're on another new level. Raia tumeshindwa kukeep up!! Here's how:

A day last week CBD, Kimathi street hizo sides za Nation Center, a friend ako tu shughuli zake. Sees a well dressed madhe. Well dressed as in hajafunga maleso kama wale tumezoea na hajakaa chini kwa corner akiomba pesa. Kwa mgongo amebeba mtoi mless halafu kuna wawili kando yake. Venye alikuwa amevaa anakaa msee anajiweza so she's not attracting any attention from people in that area. Hao watoi wawili wenye wanatembea hawana zile maswiti so hakuna venye unaeza detect kitu fishy. Just a normal family going about doing their thing, right? WRONG 

Ghafla bin vuu, Osama bin Laden....madhe akacollapse. Halafu hii place anacollapse of course kuna wasee wanapita. Kumbuka hii ni side ya Nation Center of course wasee wako huko si wale wataona mama ameanguka wapite tu wasisaidie. So people rushed to the mini scene to help. To get to the root of the matter guys had to ask the kids what was wrong seeing that immediately the mum collapsed they started calling out for help. Watoi wakaanza kusema mama yao akona Asthma, ooh dawa huwa habebi...ooh walikuwa wanaenda home... "saidieni mama yetu"

Hata kama roho yako ni ngumu aje lazima tu kakitu kangekushika roho usaidie. So wasee wakatoa kale kalikuwa kwa mgongo wakambeba...as other good Samaritans carried the mum hapo kando ndio apate upepo. Wengine after wameskia ni Asthma wakachanga pesa msee akatumwa alete Inhaler. Inhaler ikakam ikapata madhe "asharudi form" but her breathing haiko poa sana anastruggle. Akapewa Inhaler akafanya venye hufanywa. Ati ungeona venye alikuwa anatumia Inhaler you'd be convinced that she really is Asthmatic. So people now start asking how they can help.

Volunteers wakaanza kutoa pesa coz madhe alisema she wants to go to hosi and have this checked out coz it's happened twice in the day na hana pesa at the moment. "Mwisho wa mwezi haijafika." Watoi pia hawajakula for the day ... hajui atawapikia nini wakienda home ju pesa bado. Pesa watu walichanga, ikienda sana my pal says haikosi alitoka hapo na over 5k. Watoi msee akajitolea akabuy KFC ndio hio pesa aende nayo hosi halafu balance abuy shopping. So my pal thought yeye the best way anaeza help ni kuprovide transport ndio madhe aende poa.

Uber ikakam madhe akaambiana destination. Fare estimate ikakua 450. At first my pal asked the Uber driver whether it would be possible for him to send the cash via MPESA once he dropped her. Driver argued that such an arrangement has messed him up before so it was gonna be CASH. My pal parts with the said amount, watoi wakaingia kwa gari, madhe aliwashukuru sana ..trip ikaanza. Hata dakika 20 hazikuisha...my pal gets those "Uber Receipt" emails. Guess what the amount was...130 bob na trip iliishia AGIP!!!!!!!!!  So what does my pal do. Call the Uber guy.

"Boss kwani kumeendaje? " Uber guy: " Huyo madhe ameniambia: Zima hio kitu sai nashukia hapa' na unipatie hio pesa imebaki. Si wewe uko kazi? PIA MIMI NIKO KAZI. The plan was to do the same thing at AGIP....huko mahali kuna pesa. From everyone who contributed, only my pal & the Uber driver know it was a scam .

MORAL OF THE STORY: Nairobbery sio mama ya mtu