BIRTHDAY POST

I'm born of a woman from the lake side, to many known as Nyar Gwassi. On the 20th day of March, a fine sunny Saturday afternoon the Kangwato household welcomed a baby girl. I never thought to ask the exact time I came out of the womb, which hospital took her in while in labour, whether the nurses were friendly or the kind of cravings she might've had while pregnant with me. I wasn't old enough to ask those questions when she was around, I bet we'll have that conversation when we meet on the other side.

This day, for me, has always been more of a reflective day; a day to mirror what’s been, what is and what’s to come. If I’m not alone somewhere away from the world doing exactly that (or hiking), I’m with people I love and care about deeply, making merry and laughing my heart out. This time round I got to do the latter and it was all I wanted! The weeks leading to this particular birthday were really challenging in several ways and in my head I'd already figured I wasn't going to be alone in a quiet place or have some cake to share with family and friends. Adulting means that often times you'll have to forgo luxury for necessity. Birthday celebrations for the African child have for a long time been a luxury event, we've just started making them a big deal in recent times. Is it a big deal to me? Yes and No. Yes because it's an indication of an age milestone I've reached and I feel like its cool to at times 'thank myself' for the growth and treat myself to something nice, you know... I mean it just comes once every year! No because I never want to put pressure on myself that on that specific day there's got to be a cake and people have to wish me a  'happy birthday', sometimes the day isn't a happy day to begin with 😆. If my people forget about it though, I catch feelings proper 😂. They got me a surprise cake this time, made me so darn happy. To top that off, we'd attended a wedding on the same day so talk about a double treat! Being loved feels nice, not gonna lie.

I have come a long long way. I see it, I feel it. I can confidently say that I have a lot more clarity about life now as opposed to few years ago, say after campus. The character development stages I've gone through you guy! I have no idea how I beat those odds coz it's not always been roses and chocolates. Lakini I am very resilient kusema tu ukweli, kuna venye nakuwanga mzii sana, lol. 

I learnt at a very young age that I bear the complete responsibility that is my life. Steering it left, right, or sideways was and still is my duty. Steering this truck’s been fun!!! I love making the sudden turns; U-turns or otherwise, I enjoy the fuel stops, the occasional oiling of rough edges, the slowing down when the speed’s exceeding the limit, the fixing of broken parts and enjoying the ride while at it. You wanna know what’s fascinating though....there’s no point in the trip where the truck breaks down and I opt out, like “No ma’am, today’s the day I leave you here for highway patrol to have you towed for being of no use to me.” That option’s never on the table! The available option is to always park it at the roadside, try fix some of the faults or call a mechanic if it’s advanced - a mechanic, an expert, a helping hand is always ready on call.

I used to be so bad at asking for help, I still struggle with it actually. Reaching out to people is so hard, most times I just opt to deal with issues alone. I understand now that my not wanting to ask for help is rooted on the feeling that for a long time in my life I was a beneficiary of aid; foreign and local, I kept telling myself it was about time I did it alone. I'm still learning to reach out, it's not something I'm a pro at but I see why they say it's good to have a community around you...I got a surprise cake, hehe! 😍

All in all I have one very dear mechanic, helper & constant friend who keeps showing up even when I don’t call out for his help. He’s always been watching every step, every trip & breakdowns and he reassures me that he created my innermost being and knit me together in my mother’s womb; fearfully and wonderfully and when I feel I’m not operating at 100, he’s always got it handled! So from the rising of the sun, to the setting of the same, the name of my Lord is to be praised, coz in all honesty, if not for him all that I am now could not have been possible. 

Happy Birthday to you Miss Kangwato! 🎂