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The world didn't quite prepare me for the experience that came with this phase of my life. I boast occasionally of how easy it has been for me to grasp and adapt to changes in my life but this one, naah...I had to readjust, relearn and extensively educate myself. What I'm I talking about, you ask?

Motherhood.

I am writing this while on my 3rd trimester; 35 weeks & 6 days to be precise. The once subtle baby kicks are now more defined you'd think the baby's made my womb a mixed martial art ring. It feels heavenly every time it happens and I am not joking when I say that I live for them kicks...I could be having a really crappy day but anytime I sit and the kicks intensify, my mood instantly changes! 

The reason I started by saying that the world didn't quite prepare me for the journey is because with my many years of schooling and seeking knowledge, I realized that I didn't know much about pregnancy. I was never taught about what to expect in any of the trimesters, how to prepare, how to handle and welcome the changes that come with the conception and gradual growth of a whole other human inside my body. Why isn't this taught in school again? The assumption that women transitioning into mothers should just know how to work things out in this phase is so wrong...so wrong...there's need for education. My cry goes out to the dads too...can't we have just all been exposed a little so we fumble less? Thanks to the internet though, learning has been made easy...but still...😤

A recount of my 1st of the 4 trimesters, you ask? Oh and yes, they are 4 trimesters my Sista...make Google your friend😄 

Let me tell you Maina...

Don't get me wrong. I love love, deeply love and appreciate the journey (now) in this last phase but absolutely detested every part of the process for the first 3 months. The joy of wanting to see whether the belly was going to start popping in the 2nd or 3rd month was short-lived by me learning how to deal with the symptoms & side effects of the developmental stages of my little one...yoooooo😖😖! I can't say complicated (because I've heard worse stories) but I think my mind wasn't prepared to handle how the 1st trimester came at  me. Some of my recurrent symptoms were:

• Excess, out of this world relentless fatigue: Putting it plainly that I almost often woke up drained would be an understatement. I am a morning person but this year I was humbled by this pregnancy which somewhat sat me down and said, "Mercy, here's the deal...right now you're neither an early bird nor a night own...you're just pregnant 😆. Don't stretch it...here's a dose of fatigue, check in with me tomorrow for a refill 😜."

• Full blown undeterred exhausting nausea & complete lack of appetite: Goodness me! Can I even exhaustively talk about what this did to me?? I don't think so! I could not for the life of me stand the smell of 80% of stuff around me. I have a colleague who'd walk into our office and I'd just not stay in her presence. I recently told her about it and laughed it off. I couldn't eat meat and chicken for months you guy...Me...Mercy, not eating chicken 😱...I could not believe it. 

• Whole day sickness: They falsely market it when they call it morning sickness in my opinion 😂. Mine was a whole day of constantly feeling groggy and just not into anything. I would just count hours to home time. I did not vomit even once though as I tend to see that being the thing we're told is morning sickness especially when it happens in the morning when those actors rush to the toilet in a movie episode.

• Poor concentration/focus or lack thereof: Funny story, one time my boss asked me to print a letter and leave on his desk for signing. I did all he requested and placed it on his desk only for him to come to me later with the letter printed on a letterhead that was upside down. He stood there, concerned and full of kindness said "I know it's a journey...just hang in there." 😂😂. I knew myself to be the girl who goes for morning runs you bet 'Marathoner' was part of my identity but guess what...that flew outta the window this year. The oomph just bid me farewell....not to worry though, I shall be back! 

• Feeling bloated & having intense heartburn: I used to think heartburn is just this ka-thing that comes lightly and goes but boy...pregnancy heartburn hits different! It stays longer and burns. There's a syrup to remedy it though - as per doctor's recommendation.

• Crazy vivid dreams: 😂😂 I'm not complaining about this part of the journey coz yo girl was entertained a little. It just does not make sense how these are connected to pregnancy. What happens to the brain?? 

All this is to say that this filled in me new-found and highly rated respect for anyone out here who identifies as a mother, periodT! You guys endured all this (and more), handled it like a pro and kept moving on, kept swimming...aaah, me I salute mothers!!!!

To my growing, shining  flower; my Zahara 🥀

I can't wait to hold, cuddle, kiss and play with those tiny cute legs that are now actively kicking my ribs. I love you so so so deeply my princess...you are my true north, my reason to fly higher, my sign to keep working harder, my whole world! You are my moon and stars, my deep truest heart soon walking out of my body into the world, oh how much excited I am to meet you baby girl. Daddy and I can't wait to shower you with all the love this world seems to not know. You are ours and we are yours - forever. You are our first...and you know what that means, you will always come first! I Love You. We Love You. See you in a few weeks. 

To my King, the Love of my life, My Muga 💖

Baby...you're the one God picked to lead me. There's no place you've led me into that's not helped me grow. You have been a solid rock in my life, a steady anchor, a committed lover, a true friend and most of all the giver who keeps giving. God couldn't have picked a more deserving man to be my child's father. I am in awe of you dad 😊 and have no doubts that our first born will be the luckiest girl in the world. Your support throughout this pregnancy...especially during the 1st trimester leaves me in tears of joy and appreciation! Your kindness and grace throughout deserves praise. This is indeed OUR YEAR. I am so grateful that God brought us here.