This is a post I usually really long to write. In December 2021, I wrote this one here: TAKING STOCK - 2021. Fun read.
It combines most, if not all things that have happened in the course of the year which contributed to my being here now. I love looking back at the strides I made and plan ahead but also correct things I might've handled wrong. Now, as 2021 ended, I was out of a job and was super broke. The company I'd been working at for about 3 years closed down - Covid manenos. Good thing was that as we approached year end I got a temporary out-bound sales executive job at Glovo. Can we one day talk about matching salaries to fancy job titles attached to it, because wueeh!? It paid the necessary bills anyway so I stuck with it for about 4 months as I sought better avenues. I don't miss the sales review meetings or having to wait for a restaurant owner in Rongai for weeks to give me a response on whether he'll sign with us only to go there two week after (with the onboarding contract they requested from me, in hand), then he goes "Nilionelea tuongee next year madam. Sai sitaki customers wa online..."😪 I'd leave that place feeling so dejected but would console myself with smokie pasua at the matatu stage, 'wacha niende tu home nilale'. Kesho, we try again, no?
That same year ended with me celebrating one year in a relationship and serious talks about wedding/marriage were being had between the parties involved. I remember constantly telling him 'How on earth are we going to afford a wedding with us broke like this though?", "We'll get married and have that beautiful wedding we've always talked about," he'd respond. Shortly after, the wedding and intentions for marriage were officially announced in church, sema anxiety😫!!! "Now everyone's in our business, eyes are glaring trying to see if this come to pass... what if we don't pull this off?" Anxiety was killing me. I lost so much weight in the 3 months leading to the wedding. I look at my wedding pics now and I just wish that girl took it easy and let things flow. She was neither eating nor sleeping well, was constantly worried bout the next thing, she'd grown up in environments where marriages never worked and weddings were unheard of. It was a battle of past, present and wanting to charter a long desired course of a life she'd always wanted to live - follow her mum's footsteps and prove to the world that "These things happen to girls like us too". 7 months married, going into 8 now.
Most part of this phase of my life is utter bliss and I thank God for bringing me here. Sometimes I still need pinching to be reminded that "Yes, this is you now! This is your life Mercy...embrace it." The bliss doesn't, however, in any way rule out the bad days. It's my view that a relationship/marriage is a coming together of two people from different cultures, raised separately for years who have each adopted habits that have supported them through life. They then meet a significant other and start a journey to combine these acquired lessons, opinions, ways of life to form one joint path. Is it easy? Hell no. Is it possible? Damn right it is! Love remains a decision; to choose, to love, pray, care, fight and stick by each other, to hang onto the happier times a little longer while making room for more and openly talk past the bad times quicker so the sad cloud doesn't linger. Does the latter always happen? No my beloved. Human is to err and each is still on a journey of self growth, perfection is a facade, don't chase it. I am in marital class and boy I'm I being taught!
Here I am anyway ...
MAKING plans, with my team to take Stellar Girls Kenya to the next level in 2023. I feel it deeply in my bones that 2023 will be that year we step on platforms we've only dreamt to step on. It's the year we help girls become stellar and experience exponential personal growth too while at it. We did great this year.
EATING less of it now but hoping to eat lots of fish over at the lakeside once we break for Xmas 😋.
WANTING to so badly learn how to say No and not attach guilt to it. For a very long time I've been a people pleaser, sometimes I feel like I still do that and writing it here gives me that courage to say that I acknowledge the problem and commit to yes, being nice to people but also learning to create boundaries. I have made so much progress with this in 2022 though, one day it'll be a thing of the past.
READING (Just concluded reading) my 4th book of the year;
'Finding Me' by Viola Davis and shared my thoughts on it
HERE. The target was 7 books but I don't see myself hitting it. Who's to blame? Procrastination? Nope...just me.
NOTICING that I've always been outdoorsy. I was looking at most of the pictures I've taken and 80% are outside. I loooove love love nature, I love trees, I love the clouds, I love the mountains and rivers, just take me outside and you'll have me set! Picnics over restaurants anytime please!
LIKING the fact that I committed to everything that I wrote
HERE.
MARVELING at the ease with with surrounding yourself with people that love, care and genuinely support you heightens your growth. Good things happen when you have a circle that is serious on improving, growing and living life. Life is for the living, right? Why live it with people who are stepping on you and constantly belittling you but want you to show up for them?!
PRAYING for mine and your path. It's okay if things didn't pan out as you'd hoped this year. I have things I wish I'd done differently, I didn't get everything I wanted...but you know what; Kesho, we wake up and try again, right? We serve a God of 2nd, 3rd and infinity chances. My life's plan, yours as well and destination He knew even before we were formed in our mother's womb. Every time we tend to doubt him, Jeremiah 1:5 gives us comfort to let Him take the lead. We are His and He is Ours.
WISHING you a Merry Christmas & a Prosperous 2023!
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