A Stellar Woman's World

I don't like how I get when I haven't been before God and I've noticed it about myself. When there's distance between us, seasons of life hit harder, anxiety feels closer, I get irritated more easily, I am more angry at things, and sometimes people, that probably don't deserve that much of my anger, I talk back, I react. I become less patient. I'm not saying everything becomes perfect when I'm praying consistently. Life still be lifing in those moments. Motherhood still be hooding. There are still hard days and things I don't understand but there is something different about me when I am firmly working on my relationship with God. I feel centred. My relationship with God affects much more than my spiritual life. It affects my emotions, my patience, my responses, how I treat myself , others and even how I carry the ordinary pressures of life. In this season, there are days when prayer gets pushed down the list. The baby needs a boobie, I'm tired, the ...

How do you leave a three-month-old baby behind and walk into work expecting your heart to function normally? This is my second time preparing to do it and somehow, it still hurts. The first time, I had postpartum depression. I went back to work while I was still trying to find myself again, not fully healed. I wasn’t ready but circumstances forced me to return. I had to show up and function even when, inside, I was struggling. I remember having to re-learn some basic work tasks from a colleague I had trained before leaving for my maternity leave. What a humbling experience that was! This time, I thought I would be more prepared but here I am again, looking at my baby and wondering how I’m supposed to leave him with a caregiver and simply carry on. Then there’s breastfeeding. Expressing milk at work. Finding a private space. Working around meetings and deadlines and quietly worrying; 'What if my supply reduces?' 'What if the stress affects it?' Not every workplace has a ...